Before you read, know that we were going to get married and move in soon, within 3-5 years. We we're each other's first love.
After almost 3 years of being together, we we're eachothers firsts everything. Except first kiss (for her). We dated all throughout high school and first year of college is when it all happened.
After I accused her of cheating with hard evidence, she finally confessed. Saying she was in a low point in our relationship and it was fueled by a big rumor that was started about me saying I was cheating all the time basically. So many people said it and so many said it so often that she let it get to her and she started to believe it.
A year ago, She had sex with a guy, gave him head, kissed two other guys, and sent flirty txts to another guy.
She and I have always been adamant about not cheating, we stood on the same level and would never cheat.
It broke me to find out everything was true. I really wish I never knew at this point even though I asked for the truth. I broke up with her today after staying up all night thinking about how I can't forgive her. I wouldn't want to kiss her lips, knowing where they have been while we're together and don't want to be intimate after knowing how she cheated when I did nothing of the sort.
She said it wasn't for fun. She said she felt like she was getting even and she hates herself for it. She cried while having sex with the one guy. No excuse but I thought I'd mention that. She cried very often because she realized the mistakes she made and I realized that none of the rumors were true.
She said she wasn't going to let me propose to her first without telling me, she just didn't want to lose me and couldn't find the right time to tell me something like that.
She lied to me and acted fake about so many things when she was cheating behind my back and I defended her everytime someone said something. I stuck with her until the end. But then it was all true. I felt so demolished because I would've never expected this from her. She is the sweetest person you'll ever meet.
I broke it off with her saying I don't know if I'll ever forgive her and I just want to be alone. I don't even want to think about relationships.
She was sorry, I could tell, I know she'd never do it again, I could also tell, but the thing is, she did it. Regardless if she would never again.
How much is too much to forgive? How much is too much to try to go on with?
I intend to wait a very long time and see if I can ever forgive her for what she did to me. She is sorry. She regrets it every second. I told her I may never want to get back together. She said even if I needed 10 years before I could forgive her, she'd wait patiently for because I'm not holding her up, there's no one else she'd rather be with. I feel the same for her.
What should I do? My heart says continue with her, get married in a few years, life happily ever after. My mind says, even though she's remorseful, she ****ed you over one too many times. Leave her forever.
So for now, I choose the middle ground. Its over but there may be a possibility of me forgiving her in the future.
Am I doing the right thing?
On a side note, my step dad and mother broke up the same way. Everyone started talking rumors about my mom cheating although she was in the house everyday and I know she didnt, she never would. A few times through the relationship, I shared this story with my gf, fearing that the same may happen to us and I figured if she heard the story, even though it seemed like she didnt believe the rumors, that if she did, the story may knock sense into her. I guess not.
EDIT: Part of me also doesn't want to get back together until she hurts like I did. I want her to know the pain I felt. Even though she's very remorseful, I feel its not enough.
Source: http://www.loveforum.net/threads/69722-Girlfriend-of-3-years-soon-to-be-fiance-admitted-cheating
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